home | research | The Three Faces of "Me"

The Three Faces of "Me"

We all have three faces and we put most of our energy and attention into holding two of those faces in place.

Our faces show

The person we want to be

The person we feel we should be

And the person we really are.

Our energy usually goes into creating and maintaining the faces of the person we want to be and the person we feel we should be. Those are the faces we show to the world, or think we show to the world, the ones we want to be seen, our “best” faces.

The face of the person we really are shows through whether we like it or not, often at times when we wish it wouldn’t!

The greater the differences amongst our faces, the more energy it takes for us to keep everything in place. We can feel very weary with the burden of it and upset when we let something slip even for a moment.

Oddly, the more we accept who we really are and allow that face to show through, the less energy we have to use to pretend otherwise. Even more oddly, most people will probably not be surprised to see our real face! They’ll have seen that face before when we weren’t aware it was showing through.

It’s easy to find things we don’t like about ourselves: aspects of ourselves that have never received approval or have been actively disapproved of or maybe even ignored completely. So then up pop our “should be” and “want to be” faces to protect us.

If we took our courage in both hands and looked a little more closely at who we really are we’ll find stuff in us that is very appealing, things that we value and love about other people that we simply didn’t believe about ourselves… but it’s all there, waiting to be noticed, accepted and used.

Recognising and acknowledging who we really are gives us the chance to make real choices and decisions about our lives, to accept and value the good things we are, and to be with the people we want to be with knowing that we are truly present as ourselves and not as the someone we feel we should be or want to be. And that is liberating!




Add new comment

This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.